Many people say that one only knows how to truly treasure sometone only when they have lost him/her. I’ve learnt that lesson years ago, when I have barely lived past my years as a kid. My great grandmother, whom I dearly loved, passed away, and that was when I learnt it the hard way. But that was years ago.
I guess that as time passes, pain disappears along with it. I’ve learnt to love my family more, and treasure the moments I’m sharing with them now. But as I said, the painful lesson that I have is buried deep in my memories, and if I don’t think about it, I’d probably ignore it somehow, someday.
But something happened today which affected me greatly, and has caused the memories I’ve put aside to surface again. It brought up memories of lost and feelings pain of losing someone, and fear of the future and life itself. It has caused me, in a different maturity level of my life, to reflect about things I usually brush aside and took for granted.
A neighbour of mine passed away few days ago. I won’t be giving too much details because I hope that the grieving family’s identity be kept.
It was a sudden death, one that shocked neighbours and friends, but mostly the family.
I just came back from the wake not too long ago, and I must admit that even though they are not the closest of neighbours, I almost couldn’t control my tears. I did not cry, but it was close to that. When I saw the young kids kneeling in front of the coffin, praying for their father, this indescribable feeling of pain overwhelmed me. My heart literally ached for the kids and their mother. It pains me so much to see the young souls grieving over someone whom they depend on so much, someone who is almost the most important person in their lives. It also pains me so much that the young mother now have to live life, more bravely than she has ever done so (perhaps), playing the role of a mother, and someone whom the kids depend totally from now onwards.
The beautiful girls and lovely boys who lost their father, my one wish for them is that they will be strong. I know I’m in absolutely no position to say this, but I believe that their father loves them so so so much, and I hope they know that. And I hope that the children will be strong and be the hope that their mother has now.
And I hope that the mother will be brave, and be the pillar of support for the kids. She has to be, really, and I give all my blessings to her. I saw her just now, and when I looked into her eyes, I knew she can be all that she ever will. I know that she can do it, for the kids, and for her husband.
Life is cruel. It’s stupid that things happened this way. I’m sorry, but it’s shit stupid. But well, life goes on, days go by. If it’s something we cannot change, we will have to find a way to live it. It sucks, but life ain’t a bed of roses. To me, it’s more of the thorns you get from the roses.
But right now, all I can think about is the family. And all I can ever give them is hope for the tomorrow and love everyday.
I love you guys, you got to be strong, really.
family- people you can count on