It’s an ’09 for You

So, probably almost the entire population in the world who keeps a blog will be writing about the past year, and the present one. So it won’t be special in any ways, but it’ll be special to me.

One year has come and gone (the usual phrase people say every year), and time has passed when you least expected it to (yeah, there you go). I tell myself this every year ever since I knew the meaning of this phrase, and urge myself to do something about it, like some life-changing experiences and all, you know, but it seems that I go back to square one each year.

Well, maybe. Maybe sometimes we think that we do nothing in life. Yeah, to a certain extend that can be true. But if we make an effort to try, I believe we can learn something every day. Such posts should be a daily affair, not a yearly one.

Looking back on 08, which obviously was a difficult year for many, come tainted milk, recession, natural disasters and elevating global warming to the next level, I must say that there are indeed certain areas that I’ve discovered about myself and the world, and certain areas I do hope to rid of my life.

Here’s 08 for me:


o8 is a year I’ve confirmed my love for the moving images in the terms of film and digital- movies, in short. In the holidays, I spend much of my time in the Esplanade library reading books on cinematography, and watching movies. Kind of like a loner huh, thats what my friends say. But oh well, if your heart is there, your feet will find their way there too. (But friends are so damn important to me too.)

In the two months semester break, I’ve watch a total of 106 movies. Blockbusters like The Dark Knight, American Gangster, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, to classics like Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Third Man, Elephant Man. From romantic movies (not my cup of tea, usually) like PS I Love You, Love Actually, to musicals like Across the Universe, Chicago. From ‘intelligent’ movies like Burn After Reading, There Will Be Blood, Courage Under Fire, to ‘funnymen’ but really great movies like The Darjeeling Limited, Animal House, Death at Funeral. These are just to name a few. Horrors, fantasies, drama etc. and the list goes on. Hollywood, foreign films, and local films, they capture my heart.

The Past is as Important as the Future

Many people say forget the past and look towards the future. Well, yeah, we shouldn’t dwell on the past, but there are things of the past worth remembering, loving and cherishing. Like friends. Secondary school friends, for example. We can get so caught up in our lives that sometimes we neglate those who are so important to us. I guess I’ve learnt that these relationship needs time and effort to keep, and love to maintain. Taking things for granted wouldn’t help. It takes time for us to mature, before we learn that if one cannot sacrifice for something, we’ll probably lose it forever.

Anyways, I just cant wait for the secondary class gathering this Saturday. It’s not just the usual clicks, the few of us, but almost the WHOLE class. How more exciting can that get. My beloved, here we come!!!!! 🙂

Some things in the past hurt us. Some things makes us want to forget the past altogether. But I guess if we learn to look on the brighter side of life (which can be really difficult to do), the things that hurt us, the things that make us sad, can be turned into things that teaches us a life lesson. A priceless one in fact. It’s not easy, really. It takes courage and faith. But if we try, I’m sure we’ll get there some day, where ever you want to go to. We’ll get to a moment in time when the past, however painful in might have been, looks beautiful to us. Because it’s a time we’ve lived on this world, a time that belongs to us.

Pain, really, is all part of live. Avoiding it makes it more painful in time to come.

People can be stupid

No, really, we can be dumb at times. Like, REAL DUMB. I’ve made stupid mistakes this year, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.

And when we live our lives aimlessly, we are, in fact, living stupidly. Wasting time is like throwing our lives away. Stupid, isn’t it? See, people are stupid.

But I guess we can change. If we really want to. Not like: oh yea, I’m gonna change my life. I’m gonna live life to the fullest. Oh, yea.. But, sincerely, deep from the heart. The knowing, wanting, and willingness to change. Not a speak only thing. Because just talk can’t bring you anywhere. It takes action and believe.

Life doesn’t happen the way you want it to. It’ll be, I’m sorry, but kind of retarded to wish it happened to your likings. ‘Cause than that’s no longer life. You can’t even make a movie when everything comes smooth sailing. You need conflict. Audiences need conflict to want to watch your show. It’s all about life, and even the movies seem to agree with this. Happy endings? I don’t know, but I don’t think so. I’m growing skeptical about happily ever after endings, but conflict? Yes, definitely. Get used to it, accept it and face it. It’s, after all, what life gives us.

Your Image

To some, their lives are their image. And their image is their lives. It’s all about how they look. Yeah, in a way, the way you present yourself is very important, especially in first-impression circumstance.

So many people say I behave like a guy. Jokingly, but it still came out of their mouths. One even said: ‘Oh, you’ve watched Twilight? I thought only girls watched it. WAHAHAHAHA!’ It’s kind of like a: -.- situation.

I confess. My room is pretty- messy. I try my very best to keep it beautiful, but after every week, it looks the same as before. I’ve tried, I’ve really tried. When I need a new box of tissue papers, I either take the already opened one from my parent’s room, or live without it till my mother replaces it for me. Sometimes, she stacks 3 boxes above one another so I won’t bother her in changing it for me all the time. Maybe because I’m still a ‘kid’ in the house. Not the youngest child, the oldest, in fact, but still seen as a ‘kid’. Maybe it’s time to be more mature. We’ll start with the tissue boxes. Then the desk… Maybe by the time I become a mom myself, I’ll be real neat.

In my wardrobe, I have t-shirts and jeans. Once a while, it’s pretty fun to change the dressing a little, for the freshness of it. But at the end of the very day, I’m still more comfortable with what I call my skin. Shirt and jeans. Well, skirts, maybe. I do love dresses and pretty clothes, but when it comes to comfort and preference, well, you know it already. I do wear them, occasionally, so don’t worry, I’m perfectly normal.

So when I can’t live up to those ‘perfect’ girl’s standard and image, I’ll take comfort in reminding myself- That’s the reason we are behind the camera. In the context of what I’m studying- Film, Sound & Video.

Great People in my Life

Family, friends. These people are great, and believe me, without them, I’ll never be here. Really.

But other than these perfect people in my life, there are the people whom I don’t personally know but admire.


He’s so talented, and has impacted me in my perspectives in certain movies, that I’ll think about this respectable man at least once a day. Not those fan-crazy-gaga stuff, but with admiration and respect. Someone whom I want to learn so much from, and someone whom I hornour. Someone whom, when I talk about, I feel the excitement in glorifying his vision and works, and his very own perspective about life-and-movies. Like how Emmanuel Lubezki didn’t want to glorify war, so he chose to shoot Children of Men in ‘uglier’ images than make them picture perfect, and of course this decision was in conjunction with the story of the film. Well, giving him an Oscar Nomination and ASC Award for that film. HAHA!!! I want to learn from him.

And of course, there’s Johnny Depp, Roger Deakins, Conrad L Hall, (my current favourite female DP) Ellen Kuras, Jim Stugress, and Ellen Page.

My New Pet Fish

I bought a new oscar fish. It’s peachy and orangy in colour, and just about 2 inches long. Really cute. It’s called Lub (with absolutely no intention of disrespect. haha!) . Its on my desk.

Hopefully this oscar fish will give people who deserve it the Oscar awards! haha! It’s a little fish I keep by my side to keep this hope for these people growing. Love my pet!

It’s 2nd January already. No longer New Years day. Not too late to wish you a happy new year, right?

Happy New Year 2009. May it be a terrific year for you ahead. And grow everyday. (Not like physically, cause the world will then be too small to fit all of us in, and global warming will rise to be more dangerous to the next level, and oil prises will rise like it never did before, and trees will be too small to give us oxygen…… it will look real bad if this happen) But, grow, be wiser and don’t ever, ever waste your life away.

Life’s not worth the waste.


P.S. You. Hmmm… I’m still waiting.


2 thoughts on “It’s an ’09 for You

  1. hahah pam.. i totally skipped the MOVIES!!! and the part about emmanuel lubezki. i believe i am under the category “GREAT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE”!!!!!

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