Perhaps it’s time to move on…

Our class have this new ‘in’ thing of posting videos on facebook, and Mr Andrew has also posted a video of all of us dancing. It’s pretty cool, I mean how many lecturers do that for their students, and how many classes are enthu enough to dance in front of the SONY EX-1 camera. So well, I guess it’s time to learn how to treasure the time we have and the moments we share. I’d rather treasure them now, then complain in the future how I wish I can turn back time. It’s one way, or another. Oh, time sure is a complex thing to think about. Damn.

Speaking of time, we’ll be finishing 2 years in film school already. How time flies. Most of my friends are going for their IAP, attachments in companies in Singapore, while few of us will be staying in school, waiting for IBP, a school based project. Friends will be leaving, I’ll probably won’t see them regularly for the next 5 months or so. It’s a bad feeling, but I guess I’ll have to get used to it. They will, anyway. After all, it all boils down to Time, isn’t it? What a complex subject matter, as I put it to be.

Oh well, since it’s something I can’t control, I’d have to live with it, accept it, and enjoy it. Sometimes, being a little more optimistic works, though it’s always a harder way out. ‘Cause complaining always seems easier, though not always better. Actually, it’s never good- but it’s easy. So, the choice is yours, really. Make it, and don’t regret it.

So, oh well, the holidays are coming soon. Just a little more to push, and we’re mostly free, to ourselves. Time in out hands, to do whatever we Must do. Must, with a capital M. Cause I believe that whatever that is being done, or will be done, is all round up in the name of fate. Its a must do, ever since we were born, there’s no escaping. And well, maybe that has taught me to let go a little, smile a little, and breath a little. But its kind of complicating, you know. Its sealed, fate. But we have the power to change it. So whats what? Damn, I’m confused too. haha..

Someone once told me that if you wish for something everyday, sincerely, truthfully and with all believing, it’ll come true. I guess I’ve been wishing, but it never came. Its tiring, really. To wait, but never rewarded. Well, I guess its all back to the optimistic view of life again, not complaining, but trusting. And please don’t tell me something’s going to be way better out there. I’ve heard it too much, I’m beginning to lose hope in that phrase. Though secretly, I believe in it. After all, its positive, isn’t it? Ah well. I’ve probably reached a point when I’d say: heck it, man. Haha.

There are 2 songs stuck in my head now. Not that kind of irritating stuck, but something I keep playing, and listening. Teardrop On My Guitar, and Love Story. Teardrop is TOTALLY nice. The other word for nice is probably -true. But heck it, man, seriously. Its getting too tiring to be explained. And love story is an awesome song, but i seriously hate the ending. Happy ending- duh. When I play the song on youtube, I usually stop it by the time it reaches the last stanza. Its a little too happy for me, I think I prefer realism. Come on, tell people about life, like in Teardrop. Not some fantasy happy ending. I mean, its a nice song, something terrific to hear when you are happy. But maybe not for my situation right now. I need people to tell me what I’m facing is life, no longer in Lala Land. No more. It’s time to learn to move on.

Damn, but then again, I still linger on. I can’t move on. Like a snake who’s just digested it’s meal and can’t move, I’ve just digested Fact, and can’t move on just yet. Myabe it takes time, more time than I ever expect, but time is something that will definitely come. So just wait. It’ll come, don’t worry. Yeah, it will. And maybe I’ve got to know the truth, some day. To ease it all. But then again, sometimes the truth is hard to accept. Damn, i’m full of contradiction today. Whats wrong, haha…

But anyway, I was talking to this classmate of mine, and we were talking about what motivates us to move on, taking the path less thread. I was saying that what motivates me is that in time to come, I will one day sit on the rocking chair with my little grandkids on the floor, and I’ll tell them the path I took some 40 years back. I can fill them with stories that amazes them, and not just: oh I went to work here with so and so, and blah blah blah. No, but like- oh, there was this time, I went to… and did… and then… which hurt me but I leanrt…. and I knew… and I found out that.. and I tried to… and was caught, but I… Kind of thing. Makes life more exiting, donesn’t it? Ah, we’ll see. Yes, in a matter of time.

Ah, I caught Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Great show. 2 favourite scenes was when Benjamin explains that is such small incidents didnt happen, something else wouldn’t have happened. It make life seem to have more sense. And the scene in the restaurant was very well edited. 2 characters making their way to the seat, with their VO of their conversation. And the lighting was terrific too! Love the scene at night when Daisy and Benjamin were in some park and she was dancing. Daisy was very much lit in a silhouette, which was so beautiful, and suited it so much. Ah, thats what I call a good film.

And I have a new idol- Rod Stewart. Hope I can catch his concert this Feb, but its a little too late I guess. Ah well.

Alright, nights.

Ps- time will tell if the wait shall dwell.

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One thought on “Perhaps it’s time to move on…

  1. aw pam. you will make a nice grandma.
    well.. i dunno. maybe you want to give up but you still want to continue believing! i guess just continue believing and praying for a while more, until you’re ready to let go. or who knows.. it might become true.

    and it’s TEARDROPS not teardrop!! LOL.

    you know you can always bother me anytime anywhere anyday right! *hugs* love you pam!!!

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