To My Parents:

“Hey Dad and Mum,

I don’t know if you’d ever see this, but it’s your 20th wedding anniversary today, and I’d just want to wish you all the luck for the coming years..

I never knew you were married for so long till I counted the years you’ve been together. 20. Wow, that’s long. It isn’t easy, huh. But I believe it was a sweet process. A journey that took courage, patience, tolerance, trust, and I believe most importantly, love. Love is what got these started, isn’t it? Haha, yeah. And it’s going to be nothing but love that will being you, no, we all, through the future infront of us. So it’s a 20 years, and counting, huh? I’m looking forward, I really am. That’s cool.

But I must still say a big congrats to you both. Really.

I’m telling you a secret, mama. Papa bought you a card for your anniversary. But apparently the only card he found from popular (trust him to find cards from there -.- ) was an anniversary card meant for OTHER COUPLE’S wedding. So, technically, he can’t give it to you. He was kind of anxious that day, plus a little of disappointed, and told me he could only find this card (maybe we should bring him shopping more), but can’t give it to you, so wants me and Mel to write on it for you. So I kind of altered some words in it, and boom! It became a card that he, as the husband, can give it to you! He was kind of happy, I could see that. And I was touched, I can tell you that. It was the sweetest/romantic thing I’ve seen from him to you. I never knew my dad was like that. Oh God, I actually have a sweet dad. Hah!

And Papa, tell you something. Ma thinks of you all the time. She even knows what you order from the beef noodle stall. She backs you up when we complain about you (oops, that ISN’T very often, trust me). And by doing her best to keep the house neat (well, she tried. Shh don’t tell her this) shows all her love for you. You don’t work anymore, guess you want to laze around. But she NEVER complains, and continues to clean up the house (like I said, tried her best, haha!), take care of us ‘kids’ and da-pao generous portions of food for you from grandparent’s when you are out tai-chee-ing. Oh, and scolds me when I steal from your food. I DID NOT, by the way. hah!

You guys don’t buy some huge houses, yacht, diamonds (ma has been wanting that, hint* hint*), for each other, but sometimes, love transits beyond material stuff. By a lot. And that’s the sweetest thing I’ve learnt from the 19 years I’ve gotten to know you guys. Thanks for teaching me this, and giving me the privillage to expreience this too. From the bottom of my heart, a thousand thanks.

Maybe we should learn from the older generations. When grandma was not with us (me and ma) in Yoshinoya, and grandpa came to find us after lunch with papa, he immediately asked where grandma was. Then, zoomed off to find her. Then grandma appeared, asked where grandpa was cause she didnt bump into him, and ZOOMED off to look for him. Well, they kind of finally met at some point, but that scene was so sweet. Two old couples, who, by the way, likes to quarrel, can’t stand missing each other for just 30mins. Now, that’s love. The needing and wanting of each other, even seeing the same person for some good 40++ years. It’s like they are one already. Inseperable. Loving.

And I want you to be together, forever. Whatever it takes. Its such love that makes life worth living altogether. When the world seems so screwed I don’t see love in people anymore, I know who are some people I can turn to, and know that all’s not the end just yet. Its such love that makes what life should be. Oh yeah, shit happens, but these loves makes the shit seem like nothing anymore. And that’s love.

Oh, one last thing. It’s more of a wish actually. I was watching Raising Arizona the other day, and a single scene touched me the most. Two old couples, having been through alot in life, walked hand in hand to the dining table, with their kids and grandkids over for a visit. It was one of the sweetest thing ever. Falling in love, and grow old together, still in love. An eternal love. I wish that this will happen to the both of you, sincerely. And believe me, I’ll be there to witness that. I’ll see you two, hand in hand, together with Mel and I. We’d be at the dining table with take aways (Yes mom, we don’t blame you for that, hah!), eating, chatting, and seeing each other old and wrinkled. Mel and I would be better looking than you two, though. And should there be kids, they will be there with us too, with some little ones running around, making noise, and making a mess out of the already messy place. And we’d all have dinner. I’ll make that happen. Give me 20 years more. Or less. But we’ll see. It’s gonna.

And here are some pictures I’ve searched, dedicated to the 2 of you. May you live, hand-in-hand, together, forever.

Enjoy:

cutebabies

Love,

Pam your daughter. “

P.S. This is all.

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Over Looking the Truth

I’D LIE

I don’t think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colors in his eyes

He’ll never fall in love
He swears, as he runs his fingers through his hair
I’m laughing ’cause I hope he’s wrong
And I don’t think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke, I fake a smile
But I know all his favorite songs

And I could tell you
His favorite color’s green
He loves to argue
Born on the seventeenth
His sister’s beautiful
He has his father’s eyes
And if you ask me if I love him
I’d lie

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn’t a light go on
Doesn’t he know that I’ve had him memorized for so long
And he sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don’t let nobody see me wishin’ he was mine

I could tell you
His favorite color’s green
He loves to argue
Born on the seventeenth
His sister’s beautiful
He has his father’s eyes
And if you ask me if I love him
I’d lie

He stands there, then walks away
My God, if I could only say
I’m holding every breath for you

He’d never tell you
But he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything but my heart
First thought when I wake up is
My God, he’s beautiful
So I put on my make-up
And pray for a miracle

Yes, I could tell you
His favorite color’s green
And he loves to argue
Oh, and it kills me
His sister’s beautiful
He has his father’s eyes
And if you ask me if I love him…
if you ask me if I love him…
I’d lie

Ah, here’s a nice song for you, by Taylor Swift. I like songs that makes sense. There are many more out there, time to check them out.. Ah well.

Anyway, break my heart for what break yours. How true. Being humans, what you do affect one another.

Its bulls*** to say whatever I need to say here, but just so you know, I do care. Ah well, you probably don’t.

But sometimes, open your eyes a little, it’d help, trust me. Although sometimes, there reach a point where I can’t really be bothered anymore. And I can’t breath anymore. But guess what, life goes on.

Oh, and in To Kill A Mocking Bird, the movie, there goes a quote which goes something like:

You have to put yourself in other’s shoe, walk around them a little, to truly understand that someone.

Hope that helps, cause sometimes, I guess you’d have to try that and maybe you’ll understand, and not ‘overlook the truth’. But trust me, it’s not easy being me. Ah, how can it be.

But just so you know, I care. And no matter what shit life gives you, I’d be there. You may not know, you may not realise it, and perhaps, you may not care and don’t even freaking give a damn. But I’d be there. Cause I guess that’s where I have to be.

Until the day it’s time to let go, I’d gladly will.

Crap, this isn’t easy at all. Its what make me frown, and what makes me worry. Supposedly only you can stop it, but guess what, the irony is that you are the cause of it. Funny huh, thats the stuff life gives, and I wasn’t quite prepared for it. Oh well… I’m talking really aimlessly, guess it’s time to drop it for a while, and try to get some sleep tonight. Hah.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, this ain’t easy. But you know, I’ll get over it. Yeah, I bet I will. No other way, is there?

P.S. I’d catch you when you fall, but please don’t ignore my call.

Ok, fine.

I don’t know why the hell am I blogging twice a row, but anyways.

I can say all these, but at the end of the day, you know where my heart stands.

Ok, you are just kidding, whatever it may be. I give you the benifits of the doubt. I guess it just ’cause I treasure you far too much to give up. I can’t just yet. So oh well, whatever you say, I’ll just let them go pass my ears. No harm done, eh? Well, if I block up my heart, that is. But I guess it hurts less this way, than to ignore you.

It takes both hands to clap, remember that.

P.S. Sigh, to the max. Its you again.

Grow Up.

I believe what goes around comes around. Ok, fine, go on saying what you want to say. Go on doing what you want to do with your life, I give up. I dont give a damn about you anymore, I dont care. Period.

When someone wronged you, what have we done to help? Ah, so much that I can think of. And I kept thinking of what I can do. When you were misunderstood, you have any idea how many sleepless nights have I been thinking FOR you? And how sad that made me feel? And how much time I’ve spent, worrying? No? Alright.

Now, its time you turn the table, huh? But hey, I guessed you turned it to the wrong person, my friend. I dont think I/we deserve all these. I’m disappointed. I truly am. But hey, I’ve said it, I care no more. I’ve come to a point when I’m totally numb about it. Say whatever pleases you. Go on, say it. No, say THEM. Lot’s to say huh? Without even thinking Twice about what others will feel? Yeah, thats you, you always get what you want in life. Oh well.

I wash my hands off you. You’re gone.

Good bye.

P.S. Sigh. I somehow can’t.