i never knew it could hurt that much

If  I had known humans had the weakness to get hurt, I shouldnt even have started on what would have eventually caused me so much pain. And I’ve realised that the person you trust most and love most are usually the people that turn your life around.

 

People always say, when asked if they would want to turn back time, that they don’t. It I had that choice, I would. I did something some 1 year ago out of ‘moral’ obligations and out of fear. Now, I’m regretting every moment of it. I hate it so much. I want to be somewhere else now. But its far too late. And I cant turn back time, can’t I? And after all I’ve sacrificed, they dont give a damn. All the pain I’ve been through, they don’t know. They don’t want to know. How I’ve spent my birthday this year crying because of THAT. They never bothered. But they took it for granted. They think its just right for me to do so. And now they are happy that their little damn group is a happy little thing on its own. All but 2 people feel the same. And I still can’t believe that they talk bad about people to get what they want. If I was wiser, I shouldnt have trust.

 

But oh well, its a decision I’ve made. I have to make the best out of it don’t I? I love them, I really do. But its just not something my heart wants to do. But now that I’ve made a commitment, I have to stick to it. I have to follow.

 

I hope there are other chances in the future. Please, god. You have denied me many pleasures of life. At least let me make a film I really want to do.

 

I’m hating it so much. I’m hating every moment of my life right now. I’m not hating life. I love life. I just hate the situation I’m in right now.

 

I’m living a regret.

 

I’ll learn not to love anymore.

 

P.S. I thought you were a really good friend, turns out you are not.

 

P.S.S. I’ll learn not to love anymore.

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4 thoughts on “i never knew it could hurt that much

  1. hello there, saw ya past few posts. well i thought maybe ya could use some help

    ya know, sitting behind that screen whining and criticizing others aint gonna do you any good kiddo. they say you dont get things goin your way all the time because sometimes, its just not meant to be, and that maybe God has other stuff planned out for ya. whatever it is, its important ya appreciate what He has given ya and make the most out of it. now it may not be the best (as compared to whoever’s ya comparing with), but ya never know it might just turn out to be a blessin in disguise

    no point regretting a decision when ya god damn well know ya can never turn back time. be happy and content with what ya have now, and think positive. ya set your goals clearly and work towards it. throw away all the unnecessary negativity shit weighing ya down as it would not only affect ya, but also the ones around ya. a virus in a camp if not contained would spread and affect everyone around

    ya want a tip kiddo? the best piece of advice my parents ever told me was to LAUGH IT OFF!! trust me, it did wonders for me growin up and hopefully it’ll do for ya too aight

    • Hey!

      Thanks! There is probably so much fun and joy in life if I stop seeing only the ‘bad’ things about it.. Its a blessing to be alive after all isnt it 🙂

      😀

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