The crossroad of my life

Crossroad of my life

I’ve spent more than 2 1/2 years in Poly. In about 2 months time, I’m going to leave school. I’m going to face the world. I’m going to make decisions.

I’m scared.

Honestly, I don’t know where to go. I know I like to make films. I know what I like in film making. But what am I going to do when I graduate? Should I get a job first before studying? Can I survive the industry? Or should I study in some local U? But I don’t quite like the courses they offer… Maybe I should go overseas to study? But am I ready for these? So many question marks. So many questions unanswered. So much doubts.

There’s a 4 year course here in Sg. But the first year is spent doing drawing and 2D, 3D animination. Great. That’s probably my favourite module of them all. Then there’s this really good producing university here too, Chapman University- but producing is something that is just not me. Paperwork!?!??!!? I don’t mean storyboards, shotlists and all. But budgeting, scheduling, marketing!!!!! Honestly- I can do those, but I’m not going to like it. I like cinematography. I love to learn this skill 🙂

And looking through my life, (well, yeah, I may be young, or so to speak) but cinematography is something I have the greatest interest in. It excites me whenever people talk about it. My heart rate literally pump 100% faster. Ok, I’m exaggerating, but I’m not lying. Hahaha…

I went to search some good cinematography universities. University of Southern California seemed the best so far. If being able to be accepted isn’t a problem, I’ll shoot (in a cannon bomb or something) there now. Oh wait. One more thing. Am I prepared for these?

Studying overseas meant living independently on your own. Making new friends all over again. Facing troubles without the physical support from family and friends. Learning from mistakes and standing up by yourself. And there’s so many uncertainties. Can I adapt to the total different living conditions? Can I communicate with people of different cultures and backgrounds? Can I handle all these huge changes by myself? So much fear. So much in the unknown.

Then I remember a quote I read from somewhere: Life’s too short to be afraid. Maybe that makes most sense to me now.

And then I thought to myself. If cinematography and film production is something I love so much, should I not be prepared to face all the world’s troubles to be more in touch with it? I don’t mean sacrificing family and friends. I don’t mean giving up my life for it. I meant being brave, being independent and being determined. Being ready to face the problems and challenges. All the difficulties and fears.

Easy to say. Hard to accept.

I see myself doing much more thinking about it. Wish me luck, wisdom and lots of guts.

May I make the right decision.

P.S. Let my life revolve around you.

Reflection off the ND in the mattbox

Part of the set design ❤

Flags on the field

Dearest SRII

My t-shirt reflection off the mattbox

Treated like a dear

Cool eh!

Dolly tracks on an open drain

Argh! ~~~

Apple box made cute

I’d love to upload more photos of the production crew. Hopefully I get the time to do so.

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