Equal

In Ip Man 2, there was a line of dialouge that really struck me. Ip Man said ‘People are born with different status in life, but but diginity is something everyone has to have, equal’ (or something to that extent).

Some are born rich, some poor. Some beautiful, some very ‘normal’. Different religion, different races. And society has placed these different people in catagories that determines their worth. We dont want to admit we belong to this so called, society. But we are. As much as we hate being accused of it, we are the ones who create, assist, and support this catagorisation of people. I’m guilty of it. Admit it, you are, too. So I’m not here to accuse anyone of their wrongs, I’m just trying to reflect on things that happened to me, and be so goddamn pissed of those who did me wrong! Haha, just kidding..

On a shooting set, there are people immediately placed into different catagories of importance. Some that can be on sick leave, and little or no changes will happen on set. And some that can be missing, and the entire production have to stop for the day. Technically, thats ok, thats just normal, but then people are ranked according to their importance, and thus their superiority and power on set?

We all have to respect the director. He’s the one who creates dreams into reality. We all have to respect the actors, they are the ones who bring out the emotions, thought process, growth of ‘fictional’ characters to life. Yes, the DP, sound man, producer. But what about the PAs? The PAs are on the lowest of lowest of ranks. But they(we) are humans too. We too need the dignity and respect a director needs to have. We might not make a huge drastic change to the direction a production is heading, but we make our contributions too. If we hadnt woken up at ungodly hours to get warm breakfast for you, or walked under the hot, blazing sun to get lunches, the shoot probably cant flow as it did. So shouting at a PA who got the wrong breakfast, or so you say(!!!!!!), infront of kids and their parents , isnt exactly giving him/her the kind of respect he/she deserves. Reprimanding a PA because he/she didnt get the exact prop you wanted (but got the permission of another ‘highranking’ crew that the prop is totally fine for the shoot), isnt the wisest (?) thing to do.

If this was in school, I would have jolly well talken back at you. But no, here I am, trying to give you respect, trying to serve you the best I possibly can so that your day can run as comfortably as it should. So we need the little respect you can give us too. Its stress, its very physical demamding, I understand. We’ve had shoots in school from twilight to dawn (I’m actually de-exaggerating it, from afternoon to the next, I really mean), and we understand. Thats why we’re trying our best to prepare what we can in advance, keep you well fed and comfortable on shoots. We’re doing it for a reason. And because we know.

So if there is just something we need, its the equality. The dignity every human on earth deserves. I’m not complaining, nor am I whining. Because I’m enjoying what I’m doing. And I’m learning, which I’m so terribly grateful for. I’m just wondering, why is it so. And I’m understanding, never to behave the way it should not be, in the years to come.

Wont back down

I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Well I won’t back down
No I won’t back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won’t back down

No I’ll stand my ground, won’t be turned around
And I’ll keep this world from draggin me down
gonna stand my ground
… and I won’t back down

Chorus:
(I won’t back down…)
Hey baby, there ain’t no easy way out
(and I won’t back down…)
hey I will stand my ground
and I won’t back down

Well I know what’s right, I got just one life
in a world that keeps on pushin me around
but I’ll stand my ground
…and I won’t back down

(I won’t back down…)
Hey baby, there ain’t no easy way out
(and I won’t back down…)
hey I will stand my ground
(I won’t back down)
and I won’t back down…

(I won’t back down…)
Hey baby, there ain’t no easy way out
(I won’t back down)
hey I won’t back down
(and I won’t back down)
hey baby, there ain’t no easy way out
(and I won’t back down)
hey I will stand my ground
(and I won’t back down)
and I won’t back down
(I won’t back down)
No I won’t back down…

Tom Petty and his band certainly sing many of the greatest songs! “You can stand me up at the gates of hell, and I won’t back down.” This is the spirit many are lacking, and this song has given me much determination of standing firm to the ground. I guess I really need these, in times like this.

Like I was saying, I’m at the crossroad of my life. I want to be sure of what I really want. I dont want to be spending  half a million of my parent’s ‘guan cai ben’ (a chinese saying for coffin money, but NOT in a literal sense. Its more like retirement money.) studying something I dont know if I can ever pay them back with. I dont want to be ‘squandering’ it away.

I have a dream for myself in 10 years time, but somehow, they are in a haze. I cant see it clearly, and it might just never happen. And then, I’ll be lost, again. And much older. There is so much serious thinking to be done. Im confused (confundida, I’m learning Spanish, you see), worried, lost all at once. Damn.

And I’m turning older in a few days time. NO! I want to be mature, not old. Hahaha! God, have mercy on my soul.

Just one life, ain’t going to waste it off.

Faust, another great film added to my favourite list.

P.S. Forget them, really.