Too freaking scared. Damnit.

I just realised something. I’m too scared to dream. Its a huge problem, cause without dreams, there are possibly no reality.  I realised I have so many hopes for myself, but not one dream. I want to be a DP, but I dont even dare dream I’d win any awards. I want to make it into the business, but I dont even dare dream to find my first ‘job’.

I guess maybe its because 90% of my dreams dont get fufilled? Just a few months ago, I dreamt of going to University, and making friends, learning stuff from the pros.. And then, i got rejected out of it. After all these, maybe cause I’m scared?

I have for myself a dream, when I manage to enter college of some sorts. But Im so scared to tell anyone about it. What if it doesnt come true? Would I feel any worse?

But i was talking to marj just a while ago. She asked me what else I’d like to do if i cant be what i wanna be. And honestly, there is nothing else in the world I’d trade being a DP for. And she said, ‘then you’ve got to make it work’. And well, i think I do.

But first things first, I got to dare admit my dream. The hope for myself when I enter university. Yup, got to admit it…

And pardon for the terrible english here. I’m struggling with Facebook chats and status comments, watching Castle, and cooling myself here. Oh, and struggling with life’s questions. hahaha!! Damn, I seriously cant multitask…

But I got to learn to dream, and let it work.

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One thought on “Too freaking scared. Damnit.

  1. To become a DP, all you need to have is passion and drive. Don’t think of the future too much. Just live in the moment and focus all of your energy into what you are doing now. University will give you a foundation, but what you need is to go out and shoot a film. Create.

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