Everyone hates lies… We hate it when people lie to us because we feel betrayed. But sometimes, we lie to ourselves so that we’ll feel better. But a lie is still a lie… …
You got to protect yourself when no one else is here to protect you.
And I realise that caring less also makes one hurt less. Although I said that I’ll just do evil things, because doing good doesn’t always mean that good will come back to you (in fact, for my case, doing good still usher bad into my life), but I realise that I still cannot bring myself to being bad.. I tried, but I find myself filled with guilt and regret.
I’m not a good person, but it seems that I cant force myself to be bad either. Maybe that makes me an ok person then?
But then again, why be good so that the same will befall upon you? Why dont be good just because it’s the right thing to do? It’s sad that when you try so hard to be a nice person, and people don’t appreciate it. They don’t see it, and judge you for the bad you’ve done. And they like someone else better.
It makes me want to give up- give up bring good, give up loving and caring.. But I realise that I cant. So, I guess I’ll keep on doing it, until one day, I don’t care anymore. Maybe if I learn not to expect anything then can I be truly happy. I need to be a happier person…
P.S. Sorry if I said mean things to you, I guess I was overwhelmed by sorrow and hurt. I dont mean anything of it. And I really appreciate you for sticking by..