Lets do away with the ‘if’s

IF I WERE A BOY

 

If I were a boy even just for a day

I’d roll out of bed in the morning

And throw on what I wanted

And go drink beer with the guys

 

And chase after girls

I’d kick it with who I wanted

And I’d never get confronted for it’

Cause they stick up for me

 

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I’d be a better man

 

I’d listen to her’

Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

‘Cause he’s taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

 

 

If I were a boyI would turn off my phone

Tell everyone it’s broken

So they’d think that I was sleeping alone

 

I’d put myself first

And make the rules as I go

‘Cause I know that she’d be faithful

Waiting for me to come home, to come home

 

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I’d be a better man

 

I’d listen to her

‘Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

‘Cause he’s taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

 

It’s a little too late for you to come back

Say it’s just a mistake

Think I’d forgive you like that

If you thought I would wait for you

You thought wrong

 

But you’re just a boy

You don’t understand

And you don’t understand, oh

How it feels to love a girl

Someday you wish you were a better man

 

You don’t listen to her

You don’t care how it hurts

Until you lose the one you wanted

‘Cause you’re taking her for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

But you’re just a boy

 

Isn’t it easier to be a boy? There are so much benefits: so much freedom, career advantages, etc? Wouldn’t it be nice?

 

Sometimes it’s tempting to wish to be a boy.. I wish I was one- there are so much I can and want to do. I can do things that girls are ‘forbidden’ or not given the chance to do at work. People will treat me with more respect and ‘seriousness’ because I dont have to “get married eventually and have kids”. I wont “just be an air stewardess after you graduate so you dont work long hours.” These are the things people tell me, but do they know me?

 

Is that what I want? I really don’t think so. It’s about time to live for myself (and my family), and do the things I really want to do.

 

BUT, if I were a boy… “I’d listen to her, ‘Cause I know how it hurts, When you lose the one you wanted, ‘Cause he’s taking you for granted, And everything you had got destroyed” 

Guys out there- don’t ever take your girl for granted. A girl is willing to give up everything for you, the least you can do it show appreciation and respect. This is all we want, sometimes. I know how girls tend to over complicate things, but there are girls who want plain love in return. That simple. That’s all.

 

I know I am not speaking for all the girls in the world, but there are some who really, really just need care and attention. We just want to feel love, because we have and can give you more than you can imagine. We just need to know that you are there, just listen and care. And even if you’re not perfect, just come back to us, because we will forgive. But, we have our limits too. We get tired, just like you.

 

We are strong, but we need someone too. We are brave, but we fall sometimes. We can take control, but sometimes, we want to follow.

 

If I were a boy, I’d see a girl as a tree. She has a strong and enduring trunk, but vulnerable branches and pretty flowers. Leaves that provide, and roots that stay firm and loyal.

 

That is if I were a boy. But I am not, and thus, I can only wish…

 

Sometimes, all a girl needs is to love and to be loved.

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Move on?

I never expected the outcome to be like this. I can’t imagine it happened in class. Why is it do difficult? Like they say: if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. But how would you know the future? Maybe it all boils down to faith, this one thing called faith. A simple word but difficult to follow.. And it’s hard to hope for light when you feel like you’re in a cave, all alone.. Cold, lonely and scared.

Why is it so difficult? Why is moving on the hardest thing to do? I have to do this no matter what.

I really have to do this..

Who am I lying to?

Myself. I can only lie to myself.

 

Honestly, I don’t think I have the courage, strength, and will to go through what I have been through. I dont think I ever can.. It’s so tiring and I think I cannot do it anymore…

 

Like a good friend said, it’s important to be independent. I dont need anyone, do I?

 

I just need to fall into safe hands…

Bring me back to Yesterday

Why is it so difficult to forget? Has it become a habit? Just memories? Why do I keep thinking of yesterday when I know I’ll be happier tomorrow?

 

I still dont know how you feel, and I guess I never will.. It’ll remain a mystery forever, and I  guess I can live with that.

 

Now, all I really need to do is learn to move on. I cannot go on like this. It’s painful and very, very terrifying.

 

Bring me out of all these darkness, I want to move on. I want to be free again.. Fill up that hole in my heart, and mend the pain. Let there be scars, for they serve as a reminder..

 

I really, really need to live again.

MESS

Try to imagine the worse mess you’ve ever seen. And yes, that’s my life right now…

 

The calm before the storm, the calm before the storm… I think I’m in the storm right now. It doesnt mean I’ll fall, it just means things are going to be difficult.. Tossing and turning, emotions running wild.. Let me be calm again soon..

 

Let me see the Light, and the clear blue sky. Bring me back to shore where I can find rest.

 

Let me rest in Your arms, for only You can comfort me now.. I feel so alone..

Week 1

How many times have I gotten hurt, how many times have I tried but  ended up in a pool of disappointment. Why was it so different from the past, and now? Do you not hang on to what we have anymore?

 

But it’s ok. I’ve made a promise to myself and I’l keep it. I wont look back, for I will turn to a pile of salt. In God’s almighty hands I leave unto my sorrows, worries and pains. In Him I trust, for it is Him who has my life all planned. Oh Lord, have mercy on me, I call to You…

 

Heal the broken wound, and may I put my foot on healing ground.

 

God, hold me close… Dont let me go anymore.

 

You let me go… But God, please keep me.