It’s more like a partnership

Times  are changing. People are getting more complicated. But how about we go back to the basics? Back to things that truly make us happy? Let’s not complicate things.


I’ve always believed that although we live in a complicated world, we can still live a simple and fulfilling life. Perhaps I didn’t quite know what ‘simple’ and ‘happiness’ meant, but now I do. Probably not completely, but hey, we are all learning, step by step, day by day.


I’ve been talking alot to people recently, something I admit I havent been committing myself to for a while already. Keeping myself occupied with the wrong things are not healthy, and friends are very important people in our lives. So anyway, tonight, I want to bring up the topic on relationships.


Some of my friends have always been saying since we were in Secondary school that they want to marry a rich man and become a tai-tai. I dont think there’s anything wrong with that, honestly, to each his (her) own. But it has never come across my mind to ‘bet’ my happiness on a partner’s wealth. I’ve been thinking alot lately, about what makes a good partner, and I guess it’s worth a share. It’s not a check list, neither is it a ‘rules and regulation’ type of thing I guess. It’s just personal…


Friendship. It differs between individuals, but to me, the basis of a relationship is always friendship. Best friends who understands and respectes each other. Best friends who wants the best for each other. Best friends argue, because conflict is part of knowing each other better, it is part of growing. Best friends understands, accepts, disagrees, loves. It’s difficult to find someone like that, someone whom you will never run out of things to say to, yet can be quiet and still and simply enjoy the companionship. Can I ever find that best friend?


Another interesting point. A good friend told me today: she wants to find a man who can bring out the best in her. One who can make her a better person. Important, isn’t it? I really think it’s so damn true. Don’t we strive to be a better person? Isn’t it beautiful if your partner brings out the good in you? Makes you confident, happy and positive? The word ‘good’ is subjective, but you’ll know if a person is ‘good’, no matter how hard is it to define this word. A man (or woman) who can bring out the best in you is definitely a keeper. But I think it’s also important to remember that if you asks this of a partner, you should be able to do this to him/her too…


Religion is a sensitive topic, but still it serves as a common ground. I’m not pointing towards any specific religion, but I’m saying this in general. As a girl, to know a man who is humble enough to bow down to a God and admit that there is a higher power up there is really beautiful and wonderful. This man isn’t proud, and he knows he’s weak. It’s not a sign of a lack of confidence, but rather humility and the ability to respect and serve. Personally, if a man can love a God who washes the feet of his disciple, this man is truly humble and meek (in a very, very good way). Lovely, isn’t it?


In today’s time, a girl has dreams. Her hopes are not just in nurturing her family (which is very honorable and noble, yes, it is), but a girl has her dreams. She wants a career and dreams to look forward to. Family always, always comes first, but career is important as well. I used to be ready to give up all hopes and aspirations for a family of my own, but it’s ok to be selfish (at least for now). Call me traditional, but I still think it is wonderful to be a wife and mother someday (if I am ever blessed enough), but my passion is something I really cannot give up. I realised in the past month that there is nothing that make me happier in the world than to be on a set. I hope these passion will never die, and I hope that any difficulties that come before me will not extinguish this spark, but as of now, nothing makes me happier. Really. It’s physically and mentally draining, but at the end of the day, the sense of satisfaction cannot be explained in words. It’s exciting and very, very rewarding. Oh Lord, please keep this passion in me going. I cannot bear to let it go.. But it’s so comforting to know that your partner is there to support you in fulfilling your career. Whether he personally knows what you do or not, there is so much reassurance to know that he will be there for you. As a lady, it’s important to support your partner’s career too. But I dont think it’s too much to ask the same from him. It’s a partnership, after all. Many people tell me that I cannot do what I love because of my gender. Maybe one day I’ll find out that I can’t, but until that day comes, I am not giving up. No, no, I wont back down. This I promise myself.


And please, please don’t ever say that you want to slam that kid on the ground. It pains me. I’ve told you my dream number of kids for the future, don’t say its not possible. It breaks my heart. Yes, money is an issue, but kids are worth the sacrifice. Those smiles, those cries. Those laughters and those frustrations  That first step, that first word, that first day of school… My friend has told me that she wouldn’t want to bring a kid into this world because the world is so ugly, but I always think that there are beauty if we seek it. I enjoy life, and I want to let my future kids have the opportunity to enjoy life as well (not in the material sense, but love-life sense). A kid’s affection for you is one of the most sincere and purest love we can ever ask for.


We have all heard of: Tall, Dark and Handsome. But are these that important, really? Yes, who isn’t attracted to good looks? I am, I admit. Beauty is made to be admired. Since history, gods are sculptured according to society’s idea of beauty. But how important are those when it comes to determining a partner? We live in a society that determines one’s worth based on education, money, and looks. But don’t you think it’s really superficial and shallow to determine how handsome or pretty your partner is, as something valuable? People always ask me: Do you think your boyfriend is handsome? My answer, yes he is. Because he is handsome to me, to my eyes. Who cares if people beg to differ. My partner would always be the most beautiful person in my eyes. That is true beauty to me.


And who wouldn’t want a fancy car, a big house and beautiful clothes? I want those too, but are they really important? Why do we place so much of our value based on things we have on earth? Naked we are born, and naked shall we leave. Wealth is but temporary. Money is important, we cannot live our days slacking away and claiming that we dont need those cash. We work for money. But richness and wealth isn’t everything. Why marry a man because he or his family is rich? Seriously, why? I cannot understand.


Life isn’t easy. We learn, and through the process of learning, we experience sorrow and pain. But with enough faith, we know that it is always darkest before dawn. Faith isn’t easy. But it can be cultivated.


I am waiting, and I still am. I truly hope that the one day will come. And until then, I guess I can only use these time to find out more about myself and the person I want to be. Don’t keep seeking for that perfect someone, be good enough too, so you can give unto your partner what he can give unto you.


Good night 🙂


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